Paul Asfour

I started GMEM in 2006 because I was looking for a group like this and couldn't find one. I was seeking a space to explore what it meant to be both gay and Arab — to heal from the stressors, both practical and emotional, that come with holding those identities together.

Being born in the US, I quickly learned that the way my family communicated was very different from American society. It was difficult to overcome the profound stigma of being gay in an Arab family. I felt a piece of me was missing that I wanted to connect with. I had a deep need for community with other gay men from similar backgrounds.

On a fundamental level, I wanted to create a place to explore feelings, ideas, and ways of being — a space where communication wasn't based on social performance but on honesty and mutual support. As far as I know, this is the first (perhaps only) group of its kind.

I'm a first-generation Palestinian American. I've called San Francisco home for many years. I have training in leading support groups, so I understand the benefits and dynamics of group processes. In this group, I consider myself both the facilitator and a peer participant — I'm in the circle too, learning and growing alongside everyone else.